18 Million Cracks

I saw Hillary give her concession speech two months ago in D.C. I admit it, I cried. My sister who came with me, she cried. The middle-aged woman standing next to us, she cried, too. And even as I review the text of her speech to post below, I tear up.

...[W]hen I was asked what it means to be a woman running for President, I always gave the same answer: that I was proud to be running as a woman but I was running because I thought I’d be the best President. But I am a woman, and like millions of women, I know there are still barriers and biases out there, often unconscious. ...

I ran as a daughter who benefited from opportunities my mother never dreamed of. I ran as a mother who worries about my daughter’s future and a mother who wants to lead all children to brighter tomorrows. To build that future I see, we must make sure that women and men alike understand the struggles of their grandmothers and mothers, and that women enjoy equal opportunities, equal pay, and equal respect. Let us resolve and work toward achieving some very simple propositions: There are no acceptable limits and there are no acceptable prejudices in the twenty-first century.

You can be so proud that, from now on, it will be unremarkable for a woman to win primary state victories, unremarkable to have a woman in a close race to be our nominee, unremarkable to think that a woman can be the President of the United States. And that is truly remarkable. ...

Although we weren’t able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it’s got about 18 million cracks in it. And the light is shining through like never before, filling us all with the hope and the sure knowledge that the path will be a little easier next time. That has always been the history of progress in America. [emphasis mine]

Her speech today, and in June, marks the end of something spectacular. But, taking a step back, it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be unusual in this day and age for a woman to run for president. I shouldn't be this upset that a woman lost, knowing it's another 8 years before another woman (or the same!) will have the chance to run again.

We like to think we live in a society without sexism, and I think a lot of people fool themselves into believing its true. And even I -- despite spending a decent amount of my working years as a professional feminist -- managed to become complacent.

Her loss is a slap in the face to women. It's like I'm being told to get back in the kitchen. I don't want a glass ceiling with 18 million cracks in it. I want no glass ceiling at all.

Even tonight, as I watched the coverage on MSNBC directly prior to her speech, some man came on (I'm not sure who) and said that former Hillary supporters were just waiting for Hil to give the word and then they'd be fine with voting for Barack. Because obviously I've been waiting around for someone to TELL me to vote for Barack. I'm just a silly woman who can't make up her own mind, I need to be told what to do (even if by Hillary). To that, unnamed political commentator, I say fuck you. Fuck. You. Part of me really wants to give up on the Democratic Party in general (despite being told its the "women's party" I'm starting to have my doubts) and become an Independent ... but then I remember its my registration as a Democrat that let me vote for Hillary at all.

So when Hillary asked her supporters tonight: "Were you in this campaign just for me?" I have to honestly answer, "Yes, yes I was." If I wasn't, I wouldn't tear up every time I see or hear you. If I wasn't, I wouldn't still be this upset. If I wasn't, I wouldn't feel like your loss was my loss. And despite my love and idolism of you, I simply cannot support your request that I "must support Barack Obama." Sorry, Hil.